When do we let ourselves be surprised…instead of “being the expert”?

As we grow into adulthood, so often there is a desire or pressure to be the expert. Having taught high school for many years, I am acutely aware of the transition in teens when they feel that pressure. Many fear to be seen as naive or ignorant. In professional spaces, that fear often continues. But isn’t life a journey of constant learning? Surprise is part of that learning - it’s essential to moving us from assumptions to new ideas.

Last month, I was surprised by these moose on our walk. I’d assumed we would just see other people, dogs, and perhaps a squirrel or two.

Aren’t they beautiful?

Also - quite large and a bit shocking to see so close.

Especially because, truth be told, I was walking towards them (presumably mother and child) and hadn’t even noticed. It was my husband who called my attention to them. Our dog was last to notice them, and bolted in the other direction seconds after this photo.

I’ve noticed that as adults we often resist being surprised. I’ve found myself saying at times, “I’m ______ (fill in the blank with sad, happy, disappointed…) but I’m not surprised.”

Why do we need to assert our lack of surprise?

I think it’s a legacy of that fear of being seen as naive or ignorant. We don’t always want to admit, let alone show, surprise because that might mean “we missed something.” This is probably even more true with professional colleagues.

I think we miss something when we resist surprise.

• What is it about the action/event that surprised me? What else had I been paying attention to that is different from this?
• What had I been expecting instead? Why?
• Is there something I’d been hoping for? Bracing for? How do I feel about the change in course?

Surprise is also an invitation for pure childlike delight.

• The surprise of opening an unexpected gift.
• The surprise of an object (or animal) you’ve never seen.
• The surprise of seeing someone you didn’t expect to see then or there.

What a joy to experience that delight!

Looking for ways to cultivate more surprise in your life? Here are a few of my favorites.

• Keep a surprise journal. Be attentive to the feeling of surprise (whether large or faint), and when it comes, write down what happened and reflect on some of the questions above.
• Take a surprise walk. Whether outdoors, in a new area, at a shop you’re visiting for the first time, or even just around your own house, walk slowly, with an intention of wonder, and look for surprise.
• Get a kaleidoscope colored pencil or something like it. These are the pencils that have multiple colors in a single pencil - as you draw, you never know exactly what color will emerge. Shade a bit of your page and let yourself delight in not knowing what color will come next!

Do you have a favorite way to cultivate surprise? I'd love to hear it!

Hoping you may experience a little surprise and wonder as you go through the week,

Mary